And Her Name Shall Be Written in... Snow

No recipe today... instead I'm going to do:

PRODUCT REVIEW TIME!

Shewee!

I bought this for several reasons:

1. I think port-a-pottys are inhumane.
2. I too want to be able to just unzip and let fly.
3. IT'S JUST FUCKING COOL.
4. I have a little penis envy.  I mean, with the convenience alone, I think all ladies wonder at some point in time.  Just like guys likely wonder what the converse would be like, though they'd never admit it.

So, mine looks this:

but Shewee (The Original Female Urination Device since 1999) has all kinds of new ones and colors.

(I bought this simple one from Amazon HERE.)

VERDICT?

I tried it out in the shower first (for obvious reasons).

First try = worked like a charm.

I can't wait to write my name in the snow, and pee wherever I want like all dem boys.

Spa Bar

Ok so my friend and I each purchased one of these at Finger Lakes Wine Fest from Shane's Forever Files this year after an impressive demonstration.  You wet the glass abrasive bar, and gently rub in a circular motion on your leg, and voila!

It get's right of the hair, as well as exfoliates as it removes the outer dead layer of skin.  Awesome, right?

We sure thought so.

She used hers last weekend when she was in the Adirondacks on her knees to her toes and came back going "Oh my God it's sooooo awesome!  My legs were the smoothest they've ever been!"

I naturally had to hurry up and try mine out.

I proceeded to follow the instructions to the letter and shave ie "buff" my legs clean of hair, and slough off some icky dead skin too.  

My first thought was, "Wow this is sweet!  They are soooo silky!"

Half an hour later, I had finished both legs, and I proceeded to finish the rest of my ablutions.  (Ya know, wash my dirty self).

The problem was though, my thighs started burning really bad.  My knees down were ok, and I remembered thinking after the first thigh that a little discomfort was normal and not to worry about it.

But it soon became more like:

And I'm just rushing through rinsing the conditioner from my hair so I can put some gorram lotion or duct tape soft soothing kittens or SOMETHING to my burning legs.

I got out of the shower and gingerly patted my legs dry. 

I already had a bit of a rash on one thigh appearing at this point.

By night's end:

So much as sitting down to pee was torture because there was naturally a rash on the back of my legs too.

It's just a glass bar.  And water.  No soap, nothing else.

I did immediately apply aloe after shower (which helps my sunburn, so figured it was the best thing to soothe rather than further, and didn't help any).

Needless to say, I'm going to say this one is a NOPE.  NO NO NO NEVER AGAIN.  

Now like I said, my friend loves it.

Maybe my pasty white skin is just too delicate.  He did offer a money back guarantee, and since after the first use I looked like I have a serious case of some flesh-eating disease, I plan to see if he honors that.

On a happier note...

I went kayaking for the first time thanks to the same friend who loves her Spa Bar.

It was awesome, and the kids loved it too.

My daughter nailed it right away (and just what she needed since she'd broken her toe the day before and was bummed about missing out on things).  

Friend and children were all graceful and despite my best efforts, and sore muscles and a sunburn gained, I'm positive I looked like this from all the splashing and minimal progress made whilst I was "kayaking" if you could call it that:

Until next time, keep it classy neighbors.