So... the Ice Bucket Thing.
I think it's awesome that the cause has raised (well as of like two days ago upwards of 22M).
I however don't like being bullied. So I'm the fence about the whole thing, and honestly it is because I don't like being told what to do.
Like sewing patterns. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THESE THINGS?!
Ok. Seriously.
I've been sewing/designing my own clothes since middle school.
I just now finally broke down (well a year ago I bought it, and then I tried to get a friend who rocks at them, she's like a crafty ninja to help me and she's like "It's easy, just read it.")
So a month ago, I started. It was like this:
Particularly because the only reason I was attempting the damn thing was because I was trying to make something I couldn't just 'throw together'. I was trying to make something to make my 2nd anniversary with my sexyboyfriendman special. It was supposed to come out like this:
But instead I tried desperately to follow it and just kept fucking it up. I tread on, and re-cut piece after piece. Sewed. Tore out. Re-sew. When I finally got an assembled top section: it's not gonna fit right cuz I'm a fat-ass. Like seriously getting my gut-problems in order means I need to watch what the fuck I eat. Damn it. So now I feel like a month of working on this is like:
for fucking nothing.
But I digress.
The point was: I want to start a charity thing (cuz if it's my idea, and weird and creepy, I'm totally into it. To be fair, I donate money to charities every year, and I've even Team Captained the American Cancer Society Run for Life event, thrown charity events, etc. so I'm not butthurt about helping people).
POINT:
Let's help for something that affects ALMOST EVERYONE and maybe feel some solidarity if you're too poor to donate to the cause!
Ice bucket/schmice bucket.
I'm willing to let someone pour a bucket of pig's blood a la Carrie over me if a: someone can get me the blood (although I can probably get a butcher to donate for the cause) and I raise $500 to this cause.
OR:
I'll use a fake blood mixture and c'mon, y'all do it with, IF YOU WANT. I may challenge though, just cuz fuck it seems to work. YAY FOR BULLYING!
Full disclosure: we won't look hot like this. (Hot? Is she legal yet?)
So I'm going to do this anyway, and try to stir up some interest.
Post the vid next time, once I get someone to film.... pig's blood for real if you donate the CASH!
I fly like paper, get high like cranes
OMG IT'S A BIRD! IT'S A CRANE! Oh yeah. A crane.
So I am trying to make 1000 cranes. This has already been like almost a year at least in the making, I just fold them while I'm on the phone with tedious (requires no thought) clients at work or on hold etc. When I get to 1000 - wish time bitches!
The more you know
(you have to read it singing the "duh da da daaaaaa")
Did you know ladies, that to clean your hair straightener, all you need is a used dryer sheet?
I get gunk on mine cuz I use it on my models prior to photo shoots when they already have product in their hair. Easy solution? Turn it on, then insert used dryer sheet (don't toss those out!) and press down, pull out the sheet. Then while open, look and wipe down the brown gunk from the sides till gone. The little clear "mistiness" remaining wipe with clean towel.
Clean as NEW!
I am a superhero, maybe
So, gastro shit aside, I got my blood work back from my primary care dr (cuz this bitch is 30 for one thing and never gotten the cholesterol checked!) and DUDE!
My good cholesterol (which you want to be high) is off the charts!! Normal is 40-60 she said. Mine is 108! I love impressing the doctors for GOOD REASONS. And I'm so far away from diabetes I should never have to worry especially since I hate sweet shit. (natural is good, but fake = blech). My bad cholesterol amazing, etc. etc. Most importantly my thyroid and liver = optimal! WHOO FUCKING HOO. (ahem. Not that I was worried).
Yeah.... buddy.
OK.
Next time... Let there be blood!
I've been drinking. It's no Friday. No proofreading. You don't like it? Suck it.
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